by Tao Oliveto, Carrboro, NC

Since I can’t think too straight for reasons I’ll try to discuss tomorrow, I’d like to share this story/parable I’ve seen over the years. This version comes from Rob Brezsny’s visonary and interactive book, Pronoia Is The Antidote for Paranoia. He calls it, “Drowning in Love”:

The sage and her student were standing by a pool discussing longing and ambition.

“What do you want more than anthing else?” the sage asked.

“To perfect my ability to love all of creation the way I love myself,” the young man replied.

At that moment, the sage tackled the student and shoved his head beneath the water. Accustomed to letting his teacher shape the unpredictable contours of his education, he did not resist.

One minute went by. Then another. The student began to struggle and kick. His teacher was strong.

Finally, she released her grip and the student surfaced, fighting for breath.

“What did you want more than anything else during these last few minutes?” the sage inquired.

“Nothing else was in my mind except the desire for air,” gasped the student.

“Excellent,” beamed the sage. “As soon as you are equally single-minded in your desire to perfect your ability to love all of creation the way you love yourself, you will achieve you goal.”

Maybe we need to find a way to focus our deepest desire to perfect our ability to be one with each other and to heal ourselves and the planet and then, we can achieve our goal. You in ?

by Tao Oliveto, Carrboro, NC

Happiness experts agree that people are happiest when helping other people and engaged outside themselves. They also note that increased material gain does not increase happiness.

“The unhappy person resents it when you try to cheer him up, because
that means he has to stop dwelling on himself and start paying attention
to the universe. Unhappiness is the ultimate form of self-indulgence.
When you’re unhappy, you get to pay a lot of attention to yourself. You
get to take yourself oh so very seriously.”

- Tom Robbins, Jitterbug Perfume

by Tao Oliveto, Carrboro, NC

I hope that you are still following the blog of No Impact Man. He has a lot to say about changing the world. He also talks a lot about how change can make us happy. Lately, he’s been asking us to not just talk about change or to simply give up some of our excessive consumption habits, but he’s asking us to take the next step - to be pro-active. So, if you have already changed your lightbulbs, stopped eating meat and driving your SUV, but don’t know what to do now - read this post where NIM says, “When It Comes To Saving The World, Just Try, Try, Try.” (Then search the word, “happy” and see how often his efforts have made him feel that way.)

It’s something that’s been in my thoughts a lot lately. I’ve been teaching some new yoga students and I’m reminded of what it’s like to be a human trying to do something new - something that we know will benefit us in the end, but in the moment it mostly seems inconvenient, awkward and/or difficult. Because I’m the old-school trained teacher, I emphasize the importance of using discipline and will to move through the hard parts.

In fact, by watching and listening to many yoga students over the years, I’ve written my own account and philosophy of the 3 stages that we all go through. The first stage is Arrrgh  - the hard part, the second is Ah-ha, when things start to make sense, and the 3rd is Ahhh, when you find the ease in the effort - the happy. I’ve also emphasized that without the struggle, yoga would be useless. For example, one student thought she was simply not cut out for yoga, coming to me to say, “I’m not strong, I’m not flexible, and I can’t focus. I don’t think yoga is for me.” My response went like this:

“If you came to me and said - I want to do yoga because I’m strong, I’m flexible and I have great focus - I would tell you that you don’t need to be here.”

I’d also like to share one simple definition of yoga that comes from the ideas of the great and enduring teachers. Yoga is simply doing something you could not do before.

So, yoga, as life, is about growing up and out and not just accepting change, but making it happen - whether it’s within ourselves, within our communities or in the world. It is about the work. It is about simply trying. And in the end, it’s about the freedom and happiness that comes with discipline. That’s why when my students come to me with all the reasons they cannot fit yoga into their lives, they hear two words - “Practice anyway.”

So, I want to point out that maybe this changing the world stuff is not supposed to be easy. What we can gain - personally and otherwise - just might come from the fact that we had to try. If you struggle to drive less, try anyway. If you struggle to use less water and electricity, try anyway. If you struggle to do something you haven’t done before, like talk to your congressman about change, try anyway.

What you learn from a yoga practice translates directly into how you are in your life. And how you are in your life translates directly into how we are in the world. It’s up to us to make change happen and to make ourselves happy along the way.

by Jeannie Newell, Crested Butte, CO

With my 20/20 hindsight, I have seen a few things I would do differently for ‘off-grid’ living if I had to do it all over again.  I would definitely consider buying a second solar panel ($150 a piece) so I could plug in the fridge - we have a cooler / fridge that can be plugged in or not.  It would be easier than carting frozen water in milk jugs back and forth to the camper every other day.  This worked well in May, but July proved to be much more of a pain

Also, I would have known that our handmade tarp based awning would be no match for the Colorado winds, and would have bought something more durable, because moving our wooden chairs and dog beds in and out of the camper during the daily rains is also a pain.  I might find a little something extra for storing things - the truck occasionally gets filled with crap that we don’t have room for in the camper, and so is annoyingly full when we are driving ourselves / our dogs / our recycling around.  Bigger waste water tank — we use a pretty small one, and dish water fills up the tank so fast, emptying it is a weekly job.  Bi-weekly would be nicer.  Its funny experiencing all of the reasons people sought to live more comfortably and conveniently in the first place.  Let’s see, I would buy  travel size bottles of shampoo & other toiletries, because I need to keep them in my backpack at all times and they can be re-filled by the bigger bottles as needed.  They can be kept for future travels, too!
I would have a back up toothbrush and deodorant.

Just some random thoughts about this so-far adventure that I hope will continue through September.

The summer is coming to an end here in Crested Butte. ‘The monsoons’ roll in this time of year, cooling things off.  The camper and truck have been getting nice ‘n dirty from muddy dog paws and just from mud in general!  I now have cows on my street.  Apparently ‘the cows come home’ - seriously - around this time of year.  They drive them here in trucks and drop them off!  sometimes we drive too fast around a bend in the road and get startled by a big mama cow standing in the middle of the road, hanging out.  I am bummed that I still ride my bike less, but at least I carpool with Michael, and I vow to live somewhere (even if it’s here, just in town) where I can bike everywhere.  I would still bike with toiletries and stuff, I think, just because.

Right now I really need some rest.  I’ve been working sooo much lately.  My sister and her friend, Patti, were up from Boulder this weekend and I was busy working a lot of that time.  Also, our little dog Django has been very sick this past week, and we are waiting to hear what the vet thinks about his condition.  Please send prayers and thoughts if you can…

Love and peace,

Jeannie

by Tao Oliveto, Carrboro, NC

Every morning, I’m in the woods, I enjoy seeing the imperfection of nature. I know these woods well, yet constantly am seeing new and interesting things - trees growing from under rocks, branches shaped like question marks, stones shaped like a smile - designs of nature, some constant, some ever-changing. It provides a very strong contrast to to what we see in many of the manicured and edged neighborhoods. How wonderful if we could treat our backyards with respect for it’s true “nature” of wabi sabi beauty and give it and ourselves the freedom to create! I was considering this at length when I noticed something strangely interesting while biking through town.

Yesterday, I noticed two rubber balls  - the kinds little kids play with - stuck in the end of a row of bushes. I was curious, but assumed it was simply kids up to mischief and biked on past. Today, I noticed this same bush, balls still in place, obviously trimmed, so I looked more closely. There were two long and bushy branches standing up above the rest. Interested, I slowed down and coasted by (something I couldn’t have done safely in a car!) and looked at the rest of the row, neatly trimmed in a curving shape. Aha! I stopped and laughed and said out loud, “It’s a catepillar!” I turned back to see the ball “eyes” again and the long branches above them - perfect antennae!

I haven’t stop smiling yet today - or thinking about that oddly shaped orange bush in my own yard that looks a little like a dancing bear…

Have fun. See all nature has to offer, not just the straight and narrow.

by Jeannie Newell, Crested Butte, CO

This just in:

Less is more!
Also, more is less!

I’m feeling really inspired right now.  I’m sure I sound like a raging idealist on this blog, but really I’m still somewhat pessimistic and cranky.  I am happier, though, I must admit.  These less & more’s are making me that way:

More work
Less pay
Less meat
More butter
Less car
More aspen trees
More eco-daydreams

I have taken on another job and now I work almost 60 hours a week.  No, I am not trying to make partner at anything.  I now have a gig as housekeeping assistant (heh) at a fantasticly cute little bed and breakfast in town, called the Cristiana Guesthaus.  The assistant job is more fun than being a housekeeper, which I don’t know if I could do.  This is actually a widely varied and super busy job.  I don’t stop moving from the time I get here to the time I leave.  Part of the point of off grid rent-free living is money savings that I really want to maximize at this point. I want to keep living the hiking / biking / camping life of leisure, but I have some credit card debt I really want to knock down.  This second job will help me do this quickly because my low-paying 30 hour a week job has been easily covering my no-rent lifestyle (student loan and cell phone / credit card payments included.)  My job at Mountain Earth pays almost $10 / hour less than I was making at my last real full time job.  So I’m working 7 days a week, but I am not working from 9am to late in the day.  I have big breaks during the day and two days that I don’t start until 2pm - which means plenty of sunshine.  At my last well-paying, full time job I would longingly stare out the window from my desk at the beautiful Durham days and wish for a tire swing I could lounge on in bare feet.
I have not resigned myself to working menial jobs for the rest of my life, and at 34 I get a little twitchy about my current lack of professional work, which I’m told is really the societal mirror talking - that is, my perception of what society thinks I should be doing.  Which, theoretically, is where people go wrong - because they choose their work to define / esteem themselves instead of really listening to themselves.  For me, for the time being, more jobs and less pay = more motion, more action, less sitting at a desk, less screwing around aimlessly online and a general feeling of purpose and happiness.  I have been reunited with the high school side of me that learned to perform even the smallest tasks with pride.
I eat meat.  I am not entirely convinced that humans should live without meat, even though I do agree that perpetuating the need for killing animals is sort of an act of violence.  My sister Anne (and one of my favorite people) gave me a book to read on the move out to Colorado, and the chapter on slaughterhouse practices - current slaughterhouse practices, not those from the days of Upton Sinclair - had me crying through half the state of Kansas.  Why would I want to be part of the gluttonous machine that drives that need for horrible suffering?  Eating less meat means I can afford to buy meat that is truly raised and slaughtered humanely and not a lot of it.  The kind of meat that is raised in such a way as to not destroy the environment.  Nancy told me three Colorado winters living in a yurt showed her very quickly that she needed meat to stay warm.  (Notably, after living in the yurt she designed the coolest and most beautiful hexagonal straw bale home for herself that she has lived in for the last 12 years.) Thanks to Steph and Nancy who made me some wonderful veggie based meals this past week, I have really rekindled my passion for making healthy food.  Armed with a little chicken broth and tamari, I’ve done some pretty good work.  When I use meat and cheese, I’ve been using them to season meals, while using salt, butter, and oils a little more liberally.  On vegetables, not on a piece of meat with cheese slapped on top.  I don’t guess the really fatty traditional butter is bad is if you’re having a little on a big old bowl of sauteed kale.  For me right now, more veggies, more fruits and less meat, more butter, more salt, less bread, less pasta = really great food that feels good to my soul.
I’m working on ‘less car.’  I’ve slacked this week because I’ve been working so much.  I’m renewing my commitment to riding back and forth now that I think I’ve adjusted.  I still have time to go on 3 or 4 hikes a week, taking in the aspens and  wildflowers that abound here.  I have to be careful, because sometimes too much biking and hiking in one day and I’m exhausted at work.  I can report that I am addicted to the biking now, because it’s like a big old happiness fix everytime I do it. (biking’s got to be the new prozac)
I’m having some trouble with the solar panel, that I’m keeping an eye on.  I’m not at the camper as much so I haven’t been minding the frozen water bottles in the fridge and if I’m not careful about what I buy, the food will go bad (I hate that!) I have less time to find for laundry and showers and I’m trying to stay on top of those things.  I take more baths in sinks these days and wear my bandanas more!  People tell me I smell fine, whenever I ask, I hope they’re not just being nice.  I still nurture my eco-daydreams, and wonder what life would be like if everyone composted, recycled paper, plastic, cans, or even better - thought about whether they really needed that drink in the plastic bottle, and only bought one when they really wanted it.  They’re something to be said for having the regular things in your life become treats. *sigh.  Someday people will realize that conservation is a happiness fix, too.  Caring for things beyond yourself has been proven time and again to improve a person’s self worth.
There’s also something hugely satisfying about falling out of your shoes at the end of the day, having the energy for nothing but a glass of wine, reading before bed while snuggling with your dog - then passing out at 9:30 for the rest of the night.  it’s been a long week!

Also, I think all this talking about myself in one fell swoop is making me a better listener.  Maybe a possible side-effect of blogging.  Peace and love,

Jeannie

by Tao Oliveto, Carrboro, NC

Tao, the young deer, died yesterday, in the loving care of her rescuers and  other fawns at the sanctuary. I am wistfully sad and believe more than ever that her name was not any kind of “tribute” to me for finding her, but a reminder that this is “The Way”. Thank you all for sharing the experience with me and sending love.

Kindra, Director at NC-Claws, sent these consoling and wise words:

“One thing I always have to tell people is that my job as a rehabber is to help animals along to the next phase of their life. The hardest part of this job is that sometimes that next phase is not life as we know it. Thankfully, I do not believe that animals have the fear of death - or even feel that it is not just an extension of life - as humans do. To them, it is just another way of being.”

This excerpt from Animal Medicine Cards by David Carson  -

“Deer teaches us to use the power of gentleness to touch the hearts and minds of wounded beings… Like the dappling of the Fawn’s coat, both the light and the dark may be loved to create gentleness and safety for those who are seeking peace.”

This morning, I received this update from the rescue:

Hi Tracey,
I wanted to give you a real quick update on how the fawn is doing.  We kept her with us until this evening.  She’s really too big to be inside and really didn’t care for being inside, but we felt that her condition warranted watching.  Given the head trauma, she was “nodding off” often and that worried me.
Today she began staying awake more and more, so we decided the best thing for her was to be with her own kind and breathing fresh air.  So we took her to the pen with the other babies.  She is by far the largest we have!  It took her a while, but after several long drinks and a big rub down by me, and then a total deer bath from her new friends, she was doing well.  She is up and around.  Not fast, mind you, I’m sure she’s achy from the car accident, but up and around none the less.
For her age, she is very trusting of us, which, for now, is a good thing.  We are still treating her eyes and several other wounds, and it sure helps to have her put her head in my lap to do this!
So, for now, her prognosis is good.
Thank you so much for taking time out of your life to help this beautiful girl!  She deserves every chance she can get to live wild and free!!!

Thank you,
Kindra D. Mammone
Executive Director, CLAWS, Inc.
Donations needed.  We are a non profit organization funded solely by donations.  Please help.  All funds go directly to the animals.
www.nc-claws.org